I Learned How to Read

By Sam Wolstenholm

When was the last time you read a book? Like, seriously read one from front to back because you WANTED to? I've got a feeling that most of you reading this either don't have an answer to that or you're not proud of the answer you do have. Maybe you've started a few books and decided not to finish them because they weren't interesting to you or you didn't think you had time. Well, that's bullshit.

If you're anything like me (and I only just turned 23), you've spent damn near your whole life in school being forced to read then write about books and articles of no interest to you. I'm sure you've often wondered or even asked out loud what the point is. "Why do I have to do this?" "I don't have time to read." "Am I really getting anything out of this?" Well, that was me too. I went to college and studied a subject that required A LOT of reading and writing. I confess, I didn't do all of the reading. Wow, what a rebel right? I say all this because I've recently gotten myself back into reading. I don't think I knew what I was doing until now. I've recently discovered how to read.

If you do read, good for you. Are you really reading though? There is a difference between using your eyes to look at the words on a page and then be able to recite what happened. That isn't the best part about reading though. It isn't the story you visualize in your head when reading fiction. Nor is it the feeling of knowledge you think you develop when reading nonfiction. Reading this blog post isn't even going to be worth it if you don't actually read it. So what is reading then?

Recently, I've finished a few books (most recently, The Silent Patient, recommended to me by a good friend). First of all, it feels really good to finish a book. It's a sense of accomplishment that cannot come from anything else. Maybe you can watch a film all the way through, but you don't feel like you actually did something by the time it's over. Reading a book is intimate and time-consuming. It is something you do for yourself (unless it's assigned to you for a class..ugh). It is a task. We feel good when we complete tasks. There's also something about actually seeing your progress by moving a bookmark between pages. "Wow, I feel like I've only read a few chapters, but I'm halfway done!" Even if you don't enjoy the book, it is healthy for your mind to know that you are not a quitter and that you can say you did something.

I learned how to read when I realized that it's all up to me to decide if I liked learning or not. I'm not talking about the study-dates-and-names-to-barely-pass-an-insignificant-test kind of learning. That isn't really learning. I'm talking about a deeper reflection. Everything you read is written by somebody. That person (or persons) has a unique perspective of the world, just like you and I do. They're doing their best to turn their thoughts into words. That's what writing is. But they cannot control the reception or interpretation of their words. That's up to the reader. That's up to you. Real reading is understanding that the author has something to say, and you have something you need to hear. It is up to you to make the connections to your personal life and the world around you. The author cannot do that for you.

Read and enjoy a fun story about zombies, but you must also think, "Who are the zombies in my life? Am I a zombie?" Read books as if they are reflections of the real world, because they are. The most fantastical stories have just as much wisdom in them as any Oprah Winfrey biography. It just depends on if you want to find it or not.

This idea is easier to see when examining children's books. There's always a message at the end. Sometimes it's obvious and stated clearly, but sometimes it is learned indirectly through the characters' actions. Kids are supposed to see themselves in the characters. They assign their real-life parents to the parents in the story. It's part of the way they learn about life and how it works. This is a practice that continues throughout our lives whether we realize it or not. We see ourselves in movie characters. We relate to the lyrics of a song. We like stuff that makes us think. We want to be challenged, and we are challenged through art. Books can challenge us in ways that no other medium can because of the nearly limitless word count authors can use to explain their ideas. Every medium has its purpose, and I think I've finally figured out the reason for reading.

Every story has a real-life story behind it. Something happened to ignite Albert Camus into writing The Stranger. He wanted to convey what was in his head. Every person that reads it will have their own values they pull from it, and not a single one will be the same. That's because every person lives a completely unique life. It is totally up to you to decide how much you get out of reading something. Allow yourself to feel. Feel good. Feel bad. Feel inspired. See yourself in all the characters. You don't like someone in the story, why not? Do they do things that you do? Are you like them? What are you going to do about it then?

You're only reading if you are also reflecting. Instead of thinking, "Oh, that was a good story" and putting it down to forget about, think "Wow, I can apply a lot of this stuff to my daily life, so what does that mean?" It's okay to think. I've gone my whole life trying to think as little as I possibly could. Now that I'm out of school, I find it rather enjoyable to think. I can do it on my own terms. I can ask and answer the questions that I want to, then bring those ideas with me when I go to the grocery store or something. Everything has a lesson, you just have to be looking for it. You need to want it. If you don't know how to read yet, go back to the beginning of this post. This time, don't just look at the words. Know that I am an actual person that sat down to write this because it is something I feel I need to get out of my head. I cannot do it perfectly, which is why you can't take what I've written as gospel. Read this, and apply it to your own life. Maybe it has nothing to do with reading. Maybe it's right on the money. Either way, always be making connections to your own life. That's how you learn. That's how you read.