CoComelon's CoComelon Kids Hits Vol. 12 - Album Review
- Swolst
- Mar 7, 2023
- 8 min read
Updated: Mar 7, 2023
by Sam Wolstenholm
CoComelon drops one of the most topically diverse albums of the year with CoComelon Kids Hits Vol. 12. It was dropped on March 3rd of 2023 and is only the artist’s 37th project. Though it aims to please a younger audience, there is still music present, and I’m here to save my preschool friends from having to form their own opinions. You’re welcome kids.
Starting off with a cover of a classic. It starts out promising with some fairly rich production. They’re simple but pleasant-sounding classroom instruments (I expect this to be a common thing on the album). The singing voices are annoying though, even for kids (I imagine). Not that the target audience really cares about the talent of the singers, but one day they will understand. They will. As far as lyrics go, I always thought that after “The wheels on the bus go round and round,” the lyrics were supposed to be “all through the town” instead of “all through the school” like this song says. I’m not crazy am I? That’s just stupid that doesn’t even make any sense. Wheels attached to a bus will not be going round and round through a school. It’s hard to screw up “Wheels on the Bus” but I think they did it here.
Nice jungly vibe at the start. Even an organ/harmonica sound comes in for some energy. It’s decent, sounds pretty good. Bass is fat and doesn’t try to do too much. Instrumental? Decent. Lyrics? Also decent. The message of this track is beautiful. To turn someone’s day around, sometimes all you need to do is something small like a wave or a smile. Love it. The biggest problem I have with this song is the flow. The vocalists sound like they’re trying to do a Green Day, punk kid flow. Like that whiny voice that’s overly dramatic. You know what I mean.
We sound like we’re at the circus or something. It’s very cheery, but that makes sense because of the song’s topic: colors! We all love colors, don’t lie. Not only that, but it isn’t just kids singing on here. In fact, the main voice sounds like a teacher or something (I don’t know how old, but older than CoComelon easily) and the kids’ voices are used as a response to the teacher’s part. I like it I like it. Very interesting sounds too. We reach past the trunk of classroom instruments. You won’t believe it. There’s a freaking sitar!!! Are they trying to make an inspirational psychedelic pop kid’s track? If so, they succeeded. And they succeeded with crystal-clear execution. By far the best of the first three tracks, and probably the best of the entire album. There’s variety in sounds, breaks and switches in the instrumental, and decent transitions. This gave me more than I could ask for.
Another call-and-response vocal technique done between an adult and the group of kids (assuming teacher and students but could be like babysitter and triplets, it doesn’t matter). It’s much better than the kids taking the lead. And the adlibs are absolutely perfect. There are kids laughing and making other random noises throughout the song. Silly sound effects are used alongside some airy xylophone-ish lead. It’s simple but it gets the job done. For a track about animal noises, there’s a surprisingly small amount of noises that come from animals. But what do I know? I'm just an adult.
Wasting absolutely zero time, they just go ahead and start listing off the days of the week as if that’s actually what we’re here for. Anyway, I’m appreciative of the different vocals on here. One could say it’s a posse cut because everyone and their mother drops a verse on here. There are seven days of the week though, so yea they have a lot of ground to cover. If there is one thing I’ve learned from this track, it’s that I have to get recycling done on Thursday before the truck comes on Friday. A lot of heavy content on this song. It might be too much for children to take in all at once. You need at least a GED to understand what’s really going on here.
CIRCUS! AFRO! CIRCUS! AFRO! POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, AFRO! Yup. This song is bullshit. It’s completely ripping off the “Wheels on the Bus” flow and melody. And that song is literally the first one of this album. I’m disappointed. I wanted a little bit more originality from this sing-along. If you’re going to do the same flow on an album twice, at least make one of them not annoying. This is basically a cover of the cover of “Wheels on the Bus”. The only difference is that this one is about “blow, blow, blow”ing a balloon…It doesn’t need to be over 3 minutes long either. Nobody’s attention is being kept that long.
7. "Namaste JJ"
I like the idea of a yoga song. It’s nice and chill, instrumentally. Some light keys and other various percussion sounds contribute to creating the atmosphere. It stays as yoga music should, not getting too crazy or janky. Lyrics are whatever. They’re about yoga. No deeper layer or metaphor here. Just, yoga’s good for your mental and physical health. Do it. Decent track.
Uh oh. I’ve got beef with Valentine’s day. I thought it was supposed to be called “Friendship Day” now. Oh well. One of the kid voices (the first one to sing I think) sounded alright. Probably the most talented of the crew (not counting the adult, who also makes an appearance here). It’s a general song about having fun and loving each other. Sure, I guess, but what if you don’t love someone? You’re not going to tell them “I love you” like this song wants you to. Also, it just pushes the narrative that this day is special somehow and that people deserve more love on this day than any other one. The instrumental is just bleh too. Cut this one from the album yikes.
Shapes can be boring, so I respect the choice of looking for them in food. Who doesn’t love food? I also respect the choice of going for a waltz. It’s a refreshing switchup at this point in the project. The music in this 3/4 time signature grew on me too. I didn’t love it at first, but then I remembered something: I’m 23. So yea. The live acoustic guitar sounds faint but really gives the instrumental some character. Trumpets and strings sneak in there a couple times too, giving this song quite the pallet. Personally, I would’ve liked to hear more of these outside-the-classroom instruments, but I’ll take what I get and I won’t throw a fit. And the skit at the end? Magical. “What’d you pack for lunch, JJ?” “Shapes!” LOL!
This is the one I was hoping to be the banger. Let the kids release their stress built up from the loud ass fire alarms. Sadly, all we really get is a pretty straightforward instrumental and some firefighter propaganda. Hey kids, want to hear a secret? It’s actually a very dangerous job that doesn’t have a wardrobe nearly as colorful as you think. Also, your firetruck noises on this song all suck. Do better next time. Firefighters also do a lot more than spray a hose at a burning building. Even that is super scary. The actual fire drill part of the song only happens in the last like 30 seconds when a snare drum roll comes in too. Where was that for the entire rest of the song? Ugh. This one was a flop.
I like that they’re making a doctor visit sound like a quality experience. They’re important, and kids should understand that. The concept is probably the best part of this song though, sadly. It’s another 3/4 time signature, and it’s…fine. Nothing spectacular. It’s not horrible either. Their voices are pretty mediocre. The melodies and flows are pretty standard. It’s not the song kids are going to be asking to hear. No flare. Skippable. Forgettable. Meh.
These sing-alongs are the worst ones on here. I get that they’re supposed to be for kids to sing and dance to, but they could’ve at least used more interesting instruments than the same ones they’ve used for every single song. Also, don’t you think Simon Says makes no sense as a song? It’ll be the same thing every time you play it. It’s supposed to be a game, and the fun of the game is completely taken away. That part makes me angry. I do enjoy the melodies though, even if I don’t like the voices singing them. They’re catchy.
13. "Dentist Song"
As one of the more stripped-back songs instrumentally, it comes off as one of the most personal. Like, these kids are genuinely curious about what’ll happen at the dentist. They make it sound kind of cool though. Make sure to floss y’all. Also, there’s a little bit of a swing in the beat, making everything just seem a little more relaxed than the rest of the tracks. The chorus is fairly catchy, but the best part about it is that it’s still not nearly as repetitive and annoying as “Work” by Rihanna. Don’t sleep on this one. I’m going to call it my dark horse for sure.
Damnit CoComelon! I was really wanting something that’s NOT the damn “Wheels on the Bus” thing again! You can’t just change the lyrics and use different sound effects and claim it as a different song. Literally, the instrumentals are the same for all three of them. It’s lazy and offensive to childrens’ intelligence and musical prowess. Not only that, but there’s already a firetruck song only a few tracks earlier. Get creative, especially for the album closer. I’m disappointed.
Overall
Considering the target audience, I like the commentary on day-to-day situations on a few of these tracks. Some-most of the songs have some content that I disagree with, but there’s always a time and place. “Color Kaleidoscope” is easily the best song and does a lot of carrying on this album. It is certainly not indicative of the other songs though. One of the worst parts of the project is the triple-use of the “Wheels on the Bus” song. It’s offensive, really. They thought we wouldn’t notice. But we did. Not a single one of those tracks worked. They were all pretty bad. Like how do you mess up “Wheels on the Bus”? The other big thing I didn’t like about CoComelon Kids Hits Vol. 12 is the overall vocal performance. Some are better than others, but the voices were pretty annoying and lacking passion. I understand it’s supposed to be simple for the kids, but I really felt some low energy in most of the songs. Lastly, the length of the songs are all too long (for the most part). Kids can barely get through a sentence. They won’t get halfway through the song unless they’re also seeing visuals with it. That’s really all these songs are good for. Go ahead and put them in the TV show, but leave them there. I will never play this for kids. They deserve better, CoComelon.
3.4/10
Have you listened to CoComelon Kids Hits Vol. 12 ? I want to hear what you think. What'd I miss? Did I tear apart your favorite song? Or give too much credit to one that doesn't deserve it? Any questions or comments? I'd love to respond. Feel free to drop review requests too! I will strongly consider them.
Peace and love.
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